To Be, or Not To Be?
So, I have quite the serious thoughts to post this evening. And, I will be asking for input and thoughts at the end.
It has been quite the busy few weeks as it's been more than I can do to just barely survive with work. I have been so exhausted that I come home and crash and when I'm on the road it's all I can do to smile and be polite with those I'm speaking to. lol. I actually spent the last few weekends in bed because I get to the end of the week and my body rebels -- I was spotting consistenly too much. Basically, I have a hard time slowing down and letting my body develop this tiny life inside of me. I'd forgotten that it's no longer just about me, but that I have a life inside that is dependent on me taking care of my own self so he/she can thrive and grow. So what did I do this week? Only was out 1 night this week and spent the entire day today resting -- even got a massage!! Now I have the fireplace on and will be watching a movie -- my husband gets back into town tonight and I can't wait! I'm sure I'll be asleep on the couch when he arrives, but nonetheless, there will be someone home tomorrow to watch the Super Bowl with!
Ok, for my serious thoughts:
Greg and I were talking last week about what my routine will look like once Baby Davis is here -- do I continue to work full time and hire a nanny, do I work part time and do part time nanny, or do I not work at all for one whole entire year and then re-evaluate about going back? These are the questions we talked about, and funny because before we both thought, "hey, keep working, hire the nanny, and do both." Well, there are mixed emotions for us on all these thoughts. If I continue full time, I'd be home 1 day a week and travel about 2x a month to DC or NY, but I'd be gone for a full 10hr day all week. We'd have a full time nanny to be here at the home so that during bball season, for example, there is 24/7 care when we're not around. On the other hand, even though we'd trust and love this nanny, do I really want to spend that much time away from a newborn? Or do I want to take that 12 months and begin to write on our child's blank slate the things that we want to see in our child? Am I willing to give up what I see for myself as pleasure and fulfillment and replace it with another, and if I do, will it be fulfilling? And most importantly in all this -- what does God want us to do as parents in our situation? My job is purely just for me -- the income is great, don't get me wrong -- but if I were not working, it would not hinder us. Then there is just me scarred because in the midst of all this change, I will have no "known" to return to. Everything for me will change and if I didn't return to work , that would be the one common, or known, factor that would not be existent. And for the first time, I had to be honest and ask myself this question, "Do I know who I am without my occupation? Do I put value in what I do instead of who I truly am?" Ah yes...that tis a humbling question! But yes, I can answer yes in that. I do know who I am outside of my occupation, but then why is it so hard to think of having to give up?
So, I want to hear from you all who are moms--or not :). I want to hear from you if you're a working or home mother. I want to hear what your pros and cons are and I want to know if I'm the only one that feels the way I do right now. I want your input and thoughts! Please feel free to post instead of email. Looking forward to reading your thoughts and stories!
It has been quite the busy few weeks as it's been more than I can do to just barely survive with work. I have been so exhausted that I come home and crash and when I'm on the road it's all I can do to smile and be polite with those I'm speaking to. lol. I actually spent the last few weekends in bed because I get to the end of the week and my body rebels -- I was spotting consistenly too much. Basically, I have a hard time slowing down and letting my body develop this tiny life inside of me. I'd forgotten that it's no longer just about me, but that I have a life inside that is dependent on me taking care of my own self so he/she can thrive and grow. So what did I do this week? Only was out 1 night this week and spent the entire day today resting -- even got a massage!! Now I have the fireplace on and will be watching a movie -- my husband gets back into town tonight and I can't wait! I'm sure I'll be asleep on the couch when he arrives, but nonetheless, there will be someone home tomorrow to watch the Super Bowl with!
Ok, for my serious thoughts:
Greg and I were talking last week about what my routine will look like once Baby Davis is here -- do I continue to work full time and hire a nanny, do I work part time and do part time nanny, or do I not work at all for one whole entire year and then re-evaluate about going back? These are the questions we talked about, and funny because before we both thought, "hey, keep working, hire the nanny, and do both." Well, there are mixed emotions for us on all these thoughts. If I continue full time, I'd be home 1 day a week and travel about 2x a month to DC or NY, but I'd be gone for a full 10hr day all week. We'd have a full time nanny to be here at the home so that during bball season, for example, there is 24/7 care when we're not around. On the other hand, even though we'd trust and love this nanny, do I really want to spend that much time away from a newborn? Or do I want to take that 12 months and begin to write on our child's blank slate the things that we want to see in our child? Am I willing to give up what I see for myself as pleasure and fulfillment and replace it with another, and if I do, will it be fulfilling? And most importantly in all this -- what does God want us to do as parents in our situation? My job is purely just for me -- the income is great, don't get me wrong -- but if I were not working, it would not hinder us. Then there is just me scarred because in the midst of all this change, I will have no "known" to return to. Everything for me will change and if I didn't return to work , that would be the one common, or known, factor that would not be existent. And for the first time, I had to be honest and ask myself this question, "Do I know who I am without my occupation? Do I put value in what I do instead of who I truly am?" Ah yes...that tis a humbling question! But yes, I can answer yes in that. I do know who I am outside of my occupation, but then why is it so hard to think of having to give up?
So, I want to hear from you all who are moms--or not :). I want to hear from you if you're a working or home mother. I want to hear what your pros and cons are and I want to know if I'm the only one that feels the way I do right now. I want your input and thoughts! Please feel free to post instead of email. Looking forward to reading your thoughts and stories!
Labels: Career
Posted by Gamajoba! at 8:52 PM::
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4 Comments:
Just dropped by for the first time while surfing the net...
By all means stay home if you can. You will not get a chance to have do-overs with your child. Whoever spends the most time with your child will wield the most influence.
Now a grandmother of 6, my one regret is that I did not spend more time with my children teaching them to love the Lord in every day ways that gave them hands on experience in obedience to Him, learning His mercy and grace. Undoing the world's influence in "leftover" time is very difficult; building them up in the true knowledge of the Lord from infancy is the best influence you can have. Showing them that they are more important than anything this world has to offer is a wonderful gift.
What you will be is a mother..no longer "just" a wife, daughter, friend, employee...but a mother, the most important position you will ever have. You and Dad will be the most important people in this new life...and You WILL be fulfilled if you set your heart and mind on your home mission. :o)
Kathleen
Honesty time: You will never regret being a full-time mom. That said, it was extremely difficult to switch from being a career woman to being an at-home mommy. I did feel like I lost my identity, and it took me a while to figure out what my new identity was. It helped immensely to spend time with other moms, both new and experienced.
There is no perfect scenario. I'd probably take 12 weeks off, try working parttime, and see how it goes.
Just remember that God chose you to be this child's mother. You'll be amazed at how much you learn about yourself and about God through mothering. My kids are my holy spirit personified.
Hey Jordan,
As a mother, I can TOTALLY understand the mix of emotions that you are feeling. Before I had Hope, I was in the military and working in the hospital. That is all I really knew to be. Then I got married, and pregnant shortly after. I tried working while I was pregnant, but my body didn't let me. I had the same problems with premature spotting and what not. So after talking other mothers and praying on it, God helped me to realize that now is the time that I be unselfish. It really wasn't about me anymore, it was about someone else. I don't know if you beleive this or not, I feel that a child's personality begins to form in the womb and what they hear from the outside world and what they hear their own mother saying. I too felt that after my child was born that I didn't know who I was anymore. But again after praying on it and with the wisdom of other mothers, I found out that #1 I am a child of God, #2 I am a wife and mother, then #3 is my carrer. What really clarified everything was looking at the women in the Bible, their primary duties was to care for their family and raise children. The work and labor was meant for the men to endure. Now after raising my 22 month old, being a mother and a wife is the BEST job I could ever have. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am planning to have a second child soon and I am excited to experience seeing my baby's personality develop before my very eyes. So to make my point, I would discourage working, unless your income was necessary to the family's survival, because every moment is so precious that unfortuately we are not able to turn back the clock and get that moment back.
Love,
Angela
I agree -
You can never get time back with your child. I went from traveling for work in a corporate setting to part time to home...it helped with the transition. I still work part time from home when she naps, etc. but I wouldn't miss being home for the world - everyone I know who has older children has a number one regret of not "being there more" - I figure that many people all feeling the same way has to mean something. Also, it is a job...it's transient...your child is a gift from God...and he or she needs you.
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